they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize