how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
