I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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