i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
