You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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