ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
