just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
