What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
