You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
