Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize