idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
