that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
