we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
