This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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