We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
