The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
