Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am one with the molecules
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
