what if every blade of grass was a penis?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
