Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
