So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
