I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
birth control should be required to get into college
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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