He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
