But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
