I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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