Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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