watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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