Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
try to milk me bitch
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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