BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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