Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
