I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
