I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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