But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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