My first STD was from a foam party
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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