There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
