We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
