i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize