im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
nutella sex= disaster
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize