If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
