Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
