Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
