"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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