For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
