Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
