just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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