Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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