Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
my liver is dry heaving
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
