just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
