That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize