Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize