I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
