her vagine was all disorganized.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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