Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize