I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just puked most of my soul out..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
